Combinatorial DNA has reached an apex in modern, capitalist-driven entertainment, and here—through the raw power of his unbridled brushstrokes—the artist expunges from his brain the useless facts concerning pointless celebrities and their interpersonal yet extraordinarily public genetic experiments. The artist sincerely hopes that H. G. Wells’s Island of Dr. Moreau proves prescient—or, better yet, a mere shadow of the true horrors of our new century—when the fornication of glitterati results in the birth of cephalopods instead of hominids. Popcorn and pure grain alcohol always make these matters better, and when watching such a birth live on a pay-per-view cable station, the rarefied thoughts of Botticelli’s classicism may therefore be replaced by those of a more homespun nature. A colorful painting for an entranceway or perhaps the centerpiece for a dining room, Pay-per-view Celebrity Nativity: The Birth of Venus Kanyedashian will brighten the darkest corner of the modern McMansion.